it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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