I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize