Girls should come with a carfax report
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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