I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize