You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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