mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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