My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize