Screwed.edu
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
ttyl tear gas
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize