I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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