i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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