He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
What changed your mind?
Being sober
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I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
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The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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