Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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