By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
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I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
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Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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