She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
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I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
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We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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