in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
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He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
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There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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