Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I have post one night stand depression
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