no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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