honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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