i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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