today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
cat food counts as protein by the way
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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