I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
and she was petting her beer can
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize