i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize