I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize