if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
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I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
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Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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