He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize