its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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