i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
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Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
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Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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