I think I am morally bankrupt
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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