this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize