You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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