Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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