And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Plan B is the new Plan A
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize