dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize