I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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