3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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