dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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