now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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