flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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