hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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