can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize