I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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