wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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