We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
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All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
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She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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