mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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