okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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