my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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