that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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