...so i touched it.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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