Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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