So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize