actually, I'm a sock model
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
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She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I had to cum in my sink.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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